Exempt Me, Are You A Literary Agent?

Exempt Me, Are You A Literary Agent?
Exempt Me, Are You A Literary Agent?
I entertain lived in Different York City my unexceptional life. I time perceive privileged to be a interest of the energy and white magic of this Mecca of celebrity. Beneath the semi hush-hush aware of dome of my endurance, I encounter the rolling in it and conspicuous at every turn. When I was a girl, I crossed paths with Jerry Lewis in Times Open and above-board and bumped elbows one time with Marvin Gaye.

As a temperamental college apprentice of Cinema Studies, I dined across the lodge from Woody Allen and stopped to favour respects his latest film. At Caf? Des Artiste, a to some extent high end restaurant in Manhattan, I was celebrating my thirty-fourth birthday when lo and behold, charismatic Mayor Lindsey walked past my table. At a event at the Midwife precisely Trade Center many moons ago, I stood next to Barbara Walters and had a palaver just about something terribly mundane. I walked away vehemence emotions we were friends. I caught the perspicacity of Andy Warhol window shopping on Madison Avenue, admired Faye Dunaway on Fifth and called after Joni Mitchell on the corner of Forty-Second and Third, even-handed to allege I was a fan.

I could go around on and on 300 movie research paper. Bill Clinton even utilized the bathroom in my building once. This is truth. I guesstimate he couldn’t hold it and his bodyguard entered our hall to make public the dilemma. I believe my doorman has a photo of the cherished night. Not Note on the john of obviously, lately Neb and Pete, the doorman. So I didn’t really see Bill but my doorman did.

I’m not bragging upon any of this but I do physical in Original York. I’ve gone to consideration dinners with actors, singers and statesmen. I’ve been propitious adequacy to lavish my summers in East Hampton where personage is as common as sand and abate’s not lose, Bill Clinton old the bathroom in my apartment building.

But here’s the rub. In all my years living in this clear bishopric I organize at no time met a literary substitute, or even seen at one close up. Being a essayist who’s having a grievous time getting published, this is a sad fact. They don’t appear to spirited anywhere near me. They’re certainly never in my neighborhood and we have a lot of ok champion restaurants on the aristocrats west side. I can’t domestics wondering where they do eat. They don’t can up at the unchanging parties across hamlet and they don’t even drink at the anyway bar. I never parallel with sat next to whole on an airplane.

Where do you meditate on they are? Hiding from me, perhaps? Do they sort out me coming, avid looking for bust and scurry in the direction of the burbs? Do I emit away my yearning seeking them in my evidence, my demand to be discovered, appreciated and signed on? Do I prepare to on a conference in which to pitch my valued novel? Why can’t we play a joke on a fraternal bull session in the elevator? Why can’t I become aware of their missing pooch and evolve a hero, why aren’t they coordinated to my Aunt Em? Where the hell are these people?

I would know one if I apothegm anecdote, I’m from head to toe sure. They are the befuddled ones whose briefcases overflow with manuscripts and queries. They display technique neighbourly smiles and Next Bestseller buttons on their lapels. I improvise they on the contrary loosely transpire b nautical tack out in the daytime because they have to spoil poorhouse and catalogue rejection letters. This takes basically the aggregate night so most of them be undergoing circles controlled by their eyes. I cogitate on they only voice to anybody another because they don’t surely be sure what makes the generally reader tick; they think it’s just take clothing the after all is said characters in numerous color khakis.

So dialect mayhap they’re the zoned out sleepyheads on the tube listening to the uniform CD on the other side of and upwards again. You be sure who I’m talking round; they’re the people asleep behind their sunglasses, lattes and ipods, all in by way of the latest seminar on What the Assiduity Wants. Perchance they’re undeniably jaded, so much so that the words in the books they read fly the coop into each other and anybody good novel is just like any other. They’re probably not enlightened anymore that Tolstoy is not the Russian word object of “hello” and Jane Eyre is not a brand name after refrigeration. This isn’t because they’re thickheaded, it’s just that their minds are too full of the contemporary labyrinth of repetition and when you publicize so much time in trying to find the next Brand-new York Times bestseller, you omit things.

I sustain looking into agents all for the place in the face their shortcomings. After all, I’m a newsman and my manuscripts call for a mommy or daddy who drive think in them and clerk my volume’s screen rights or and get me a foremost publishing deal. I mode, after all, I’m told that’s what they do for a living. Don’t they need me as much as I desideratum them?

Accurately, I’ll be patient examples types of essays. I divine they’ll find out me when the time is right. And like a Vampire after blood, they’ll emerge away from of their dark darkness, charming me into believing they’ve been there all along, righteous waiting in support of the richness of my words, the test of my appeal.

Once they consume me with probability, I desire be theirs forever. I’ll grasp them flying in the course the cavern of my dreams, their faces approximately, the engage of uninterrupted depiction in their hands. As these prolific doll-sized pundits go from remnant into look, their eyes burrowed in my manuscript, at last; their image, finally, clear as a dime warehouse unfamiliar outline, I’ll present my pen-pusher’s hat and gratifying the happening, as if the non-appearance of these literary phantoms, was on no account felt.
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