20 Most Entertaining Celebrity Thesis Statements

20 Most Entertaining Celebrity Thesis Statements
20 Most Entertaining Celebrity Thesis Statements
If you think about it, there’s no reason why we should short-change celebrities and underestimate their intelligence. After all, they have the determination, work ethic and street savvy to take on Hollywood and win us over. But becoming a rock star or famous actor isn’t enough for some celebs: they’ve decided to conquer the academic world, too. Here are 20 entertaining celebrity thesis statements to prove it. Some are bizarre, some are too ironic, and some are just completely unexpected.
"Hypothalamic Secretions and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in adolescents with Prader-Willi Syndrome," Mayim Bialik: The former Blossom trendsetter has proved herself to be a serious smartie. She’s got a B.S. in Neuroscience, and a degree in Hebrew and Jewish Studies from UCLA, plus a Ph.D. in Neuroscience from the same school, which she earned in 2007. Bialik is today a leader in the holistic moms movement, practicing natural family living and parenting. We hope that psychoneuroendocrinology thesis, "Hypothalamic Secretions and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in adolescents with Prader-Willi Syndrome," allows her to help other families dealing with those issues.
"Contents Under Pressure," John Krasinski: Brown alumnus, TV and now film star John Krasinski had a running faux-rivalry with his former co-star Rashida Jones, a graduate of Harvard, back when they appeared on The Office together. But Krasinski displayed his writing talents, too, when he was a playwriting student at Brown. His honors thesis "Contents Under Pressure" is still available in the Brown archives.
"The Republican Party’s Vision for the Family: The Compelling Issue of the Decade," Bob McDonnell: Virginia governor and former lieutenant governor in the United States Army Bob McDonnell apparently wrote a very controversial, and to some, offensive, thesis as part of his graduate work in public policy at Regent University. The Washington Post dug up the thesis last summer, highlighting excerpts dealing with Christian Reconstruction, or a movement calling for a society governed by biblical law. While the title of the thesis seems like a nod to family values, Christian Reconstruction contains anti-feminist undertones, and was considered an embarrassment by many in Virginia politics and the Republican party.
"The Initiation: From Innocence to Experience: The Pre-Adolescent/Adolescent Journey in the Films of Louis Malle, Pretty Baby and Lacombe Lucien," Brooke Shields: Brooke Shields is one of Princeton’s most high-profile alumni, and she graduated in 1997, after achieving huge star status as a young teenager, thanks to roles in Pretty Baby, The Blue Lagoon and a then-racy ad for Calvin Klein. Her Lolita-esque image and the public obsession with her sexuality probably influenced her senior thesis from the Ivy League university: the French literature major turned in an impressive piece called, "The Initiation: From Innocence to Experience: The Pre-Adolescent/Adolescent Journey in the Films of Louis Malle, Pretty Baby and Lacombe Lucien."
Global Warming, Aisha Tyler: Former Talk Soup host, and frequent TV guest star on shows like Friends, CSI, 24 and Ghost Whisperer Aisha Tyler is actually incredibly smart and forward thinking despite some of her less-than-intellectual acting pursuits. She’s a Dartmouth grad who studied government and environmental policy, and she speaks Russian, French and Swahili fluently. There’s nothing really funny about her thesis subject — global warming — just that she’s been championing the crisis since the early to mid-1990s, way before any of the rest of us got on board. "If only they listened to me," the actress told Mother Nature Network.
"Radial Velocities in the Zodiacal Dust Cloud," Brian May: Queen songwriter and guitarist Brian May is probably more famous for his songs "We Will Rock You" and "Fat Bottomed Girls" than his contributions to astrophysics, but the Afro-rocking musician hasn’t just written a graduate thesis on the subject. He’s also co-written a book on the history of the universe and has a "minor planet" named after him: Asteroid 52665 Brianmay, which was christened in 2008, just after he got his PhD.
"Literary Progeria in the Works of Flannery O’Connor and William Faulkner," Conan O’Brien: You may know that goofy late-night talk show host/renegade entertainer Conan O’Brien went to Harvard: his entertaining commencement speech at his alma mater is a big hit on YouTube. But you may not have known that O’Brien was a serious student of English and history and graduated magnum cum laude. His senior thesis explored literary progeria (that’s premature aging if you didn’t go to Harvard) in works by O’Connor and Faulkner. Take that, Leno!
"Niemcewicz," Tom Kean: Former governor of New Jersey and Chairman of the 9/11 Commission Tom Kean, Sr., graduated from Princeton in 1957 with a B.A. in history, and later Columbia University’s Teachers College, where he earned a graduate degree in the same field. His Princeton thesis is still kept in "The Vault" and tells the story of his great-great grandmother’s love affair with a count named Niemcewicz.
Personal identity and memory, Natalie Portman: Another famous celebrity who’s also a Harvard grad is Natalie Portman, who filmed Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones during a summer break from school. Portman once stated, "I’d rather be smart than a movie star," and proved it when she wrote her psychology thesis on personal identity, and how she believes it is shaped by "how he constructs his memories into his life story," according to the Huffington Post.
The male genitalia film, James Franco: James Franco has been everywhere the past few years, from stoner comedies to UCLA to NYU to Columbia to TV soap operas. Graduating with and pursuing degrees in creative writing, filmmaking, fiction writing and poetry, Franco’s been simultaneously impressing and baffling the public with his work on and off screen. His thesis for NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts was actually a film that got mostly confused reviews, the most famous coming from a Life & Style article: ""It pretty much had no plot and featured men in clown masks, men in dog masks, and shots of male genitalia urinating."
"There Is Only the Fight…," Hillary Rodham Clinton: Back when Hillary was just a Rodham, she studied at Wellesley and was even the first student commencement speaker at that school, graduating in 1969. Her thesis studied the activist and community organizer Saul Alinsky, a controversial but powerful figure during the 1960s who worked to improve African American ghettos all over the country.
"The Steel Seizure Case of 1952 and Its Effects on Presidential Powers," Donald Rumsfeld: Two-time Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld isn’t going to go down in history as America’s sweetheart, no matter what political party you belong to. But some liberals who have thought that Rumsfeld is a power-hungry member of the brain trust might be surprised at his senior thesis. In it, Rumsfeld sides with the Supreme Court, who curbed President Harry Truman’s emergency powers during the steel mill strike in 1952. Rumsfeld wrote, "No one wishes to injure adequate defense action in the event of an enemy attack or an emergency of similar gravity. But, it must not be forgotten that the concept of emergency is elastic…" Sort of ironic, don’t you think?
The schizophrenia novel, James Franco: Another bizarre James Franco moment! For this thesis, Franco actually wrote a novel to fulfill his creative writing degree at UCLA. He worked with Anywhere but Here writer Mona Simpson to finish a novel about a boy he knew growing up, and retrospectively examines the early signs of schizophrenia.
"An Integration of the Visual Media Via Fat Albert And The Cosby Kids Into the Elementary School Curriculum as a Teaching Aid and Vehicle to Achieve Increased Learning," Bill Cosby: From the Jell-o commercials to "Kids Say the Darndest Things" to "The Cosby Show," who doesn’t have fond memories Bill Cosby? The entertainer attended Temple University as a young man, but left before graduating to pursue work in comedy. He returned to school and eventually earned an MA and doctorate in education from the University of Massachusetts. His thesis was for his doctorate degree and is entitled "The Integration of Visual Media Via Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids Into the Elementary Schools Culminating as a Teacher Aid to Achieve Increased Learning." We agree: there’s a lot Mr. Huxtable could teach us about life.
"A new locality of fossiliferous Harding Sandstone: insights into the earliest vertebrate environment and some aspects of dermal skeletal tissue," Greg Graffin: Another rock star makes our list with Bad Religion singer, Greg Graffin. The singer/songwriter is also a science teacher, though, and earned his Ph.D. in Zoology, apparently studying evolutionary biology and fossils.
Racial conflict in China, Mira Sorvino: From Mighty Aphrodite to Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion, Mira Sorvino — daughter of Law and Order actor Paul Sorvino — has had a stable but sometimes under-the-radar career in Hollywood since the 1990s. Also a Darfur activist, Sorvino studied at Harvard and spent time in Beijing, working on her thesis about racial conflict in China.
"HIV/AIDS and Health Care Reform in British and American Prisons," Rachel Maddow: CNN and Democratic party darling Rachel Maddow doesn’t apologize for her commentary on current events, often championing the underdog and calling out the new uber-conservatives and Tea Partyers. As a student at Stanford, Maddow studied public policy and then went on to become the first openly gay Rhodes Scholar. She studied philosophy at Oxford, where she wrote her thesis on HIV/AIDS and British and American prisons.
"Analysis of Opaque-2 Function in Maize," Milo Aukerman: Singer for the Descendants, Milo Aukerman is also a research biochemist. He earned a Ph.D. from the University of Wisconsin, Madison, in biochemistry, writing a cryptic-sounding (to the rest of us) thesis called "Analysis of Opaque-2 Function in Maize." Wondering why the Descendants aren’t even bigger than they are? Aukerman reportedly chooses science over music whenever he has to juggle commitments.
"Only Victims: A Study of Show Business Blacklisting," Robert Vaughn: This would make a great film, too. Famed stage and TV actor Robert Vaughn attended several colleges including the University of Minnesota, Los Angeles City College, Los Angeles State College of Applied Arts and Sciences (from which he earned a Master’s in theatre) and USC, where he earned his PhD in communications and explored blacklisting in show business in his 1972 dissertation.
"Doubling and the Identity Construct in Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s ‘The Yellow Wallpaper,’ Jean Rhys’s ‘Wide Sargasso Sea,’ and Charlotte Bronte’s ‘Jane Eyre,’" Wentworth Miller: Former Prison Break actor Wentworth Miller has such a pretty face it was almost hard to imagine him sitting in prison, even if he did have good intentions. To complement his bad-boy character, we also like to remember Wentworth’s sensitive side: apparently he’s a women’s lit nut and graduated with an English degree from Princeton, writing about Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Jean Rhys and Charlotte Bronte for his senior thesis.

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