How to be Less Shy and More Confident Around Girls

How to be Less Shy and More Confident Around Girls
Do you suffer from the classic male problem of shyness around beautiful girls, or just girls in general? Do you find it difficult to talk to that girl in class without being self-conscious? Find out here how to shed your shyness and be confident around girls!Many boys suffer from the classic male problem of weak-at-the-knees when they approach puberty and find out that the girls they used to fight with in kindergarten and until a couple years ago are now almost making them tongue-tied! Many boys go through several school years feeling rather shy to approach the girl they have a crush on, only to find out that some other guy wasn't as shy as them and managed to whisk her away! Happened to you too? What's really sad is some boys continue to be shy as they hit college, and some even as they pass out of college and become professionals! Well, worry not. I am here to tell you - to actually convince you - that approaching a girl is no rocket science, and there is no reason you should be shy!

Why are Guys Shy Around Girls?

Most boys are shy around girls for a few common reasons. Top most among these are fear of rejection and fear of being ridiculed. Some boys are just naturally shy, without any particular reason. On the other hand, few have gone through an experience in childhood that has made them lose their confidence in themselves - a failed stage performance is most common among these childhood experiences. Stage fright is a common fear that many children carry right into their adulthood. What's surprising is - many people who appear to be confident and cool also suffer from stage fright, though it may not be as evident as among other people! I always mess up the opening lines of a speech to this day, though few of my friends tell me they envy my confidence! The human mind is like a child - it wants to protect itself and the self from feelings that are unpleasant, and so it comes up with its own defenses and strategies to do the same. What I am trying to say is, do not look at being shy as a handicap or as a fault. It is just a part of you, a part of yourself. The first thing to get over being shy is to accept you are shy and to approach your shyness with the right attitude.

7 Ways to Shed the Shyness and be Confident!

~ Know Yourself ~
Do you know your shyness like the back of your hand? What makes you shy? What aspect of being with a girl makes you shy? Is it the girl's looks? Is it your own looks? Is it conversation? Is it a particular topic that you feel shy talking about? Know yourself. Find out and put a tab on the root-cause of your shyness, and address it directly, instead of beating about the bush!

~ Be Assertive ~
So everybody at school likes basketball, but you like tennis; so what? Do not feel shy or awkward to be different. Be assertive, and be prepared to discuss your preferences without feeling shy to do so. Sometimes one tends to get intimidated about not liking things everybody likes, or about liking something everybody doesn't like; about being different. Though you don't want to be with someone who wants to be with you just because you also like Pink Floyd and you also hate Backstreet Boys anyway, preferences do matter - they give you things to talk about! But that does not mean you should alter your preferences just to be with someone... never a good idea!

~ Modest - But Not a Doormat! ~
If you are good at playing the guitar, you ARE good at playing the guitar. Do not downplay your talents or pluses! Though someone who blows his own trumpet all the time is quite a turn-off (a major one!), someone who is constantly in denial is quite a boring sight to see as well. Be modest, but don't be a doormat. If a girl compliments you, you can respond with something like "Well, I am still learning", or "Oh I still have a long way to go", and once in a while you can say "It's nothing!"; but do not respond to every compliment with that. It may make you seem like someone with very little self-respect and a low self-esteem.

~ Conversation Helps ~
Conversation starters that you use to strike up a conversation with someone, go a long way in creating a first impression in the mind of the girl you approach. There are different ways to strike up a conversation at different occasions. Girls, women - all ages, all kinds - LOVE to talk. One of the ways to get a girl interested in you is with a good conversation, so do away with being awkward, and start talking!

~ Back at You ~
Lead the conversation back to her every once in a while. It will give you time to prepare to say the next thing you have on your mind, it will give you some time to recover from your heart palpitations (!), but most importantly it will help you get to know the girl better too. Besides, she is going to love it that you really want to get to know her as a person, that you are not an 'all-me' kind of a guy. You are sure going to earn yourself some brownie points there!

~ Take Charge - We Love It! ~
Women love confident, assertive men who are capable of taking charge of things and leading a conversation or a meeting, a date, through a graph. So step into the role and take charge of things. If you are out with a girl, order her drink for her; tell her how wonderful it is, and how much she is going to like it. If you are merely catching up over coffee, suggest an after-coffee place you can hangout at. Take her out for a walk. If you are talking about something you both do not agree upon, make your point and support it with reasons. Women love men who think, and not the ones who have just blind preferences.

~ If Looks Could Kill ~
Dress to impress. But do not dress in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. Dress in your most comfortable attire, but one that makes you feel good about your appearance and looks. You may not be someone who cares much for his looks, but girls love well-dressed and well-groomed guys! That does not mean you go overboard and turn up for coffee in a trouser and shirt! But definitely don't turn up in your old bermuda shorts either!

I am sure that even with these tips, the first time you lay eyes upon the girl, sitting there at the coffee-table, waiting for you to come, you are bound to get butterflies in your stomach! But keep these tips in mind, and you will soon find yourself easing out into the meeting and enjoying yourself. Once you get started, you are bound to find your own ways to overcome your shyness. Best of luck buddy!

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