Someone in the Backseat- Creative Writing

Someone in the Backseat- Creative Writing
The rain thumped
on the bonnet and the wind whistled along the curves of the car. The
trees were waving frantically in the wind as if to attract the
attention of passing cars. Like the night, the winding country road
grew longer and longer, darker and darker with every passing hour. The
bright headlights pushed back the darkness, which immediately returned
to haunt the rear of the car. The darkness seeps into the car and
hangs heavily over the back seat.Twenty one year old Natalie had just passed her driving test and this was the first time she was driving back from university by herself. Natalie was quiet relaxed driving through the night, occasionally leaning forward to peer through the window screen to have a better view of the road ahead. Moving the dial across the radio stations Natalie came across a familiar tune. She started tapping her fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music. Suddenly the music stopped and then a man?s voice on the radio announced, ?This is an urgent news bulletin?. He mentioned that a lunatic had escaped from prison. Natalie switches the radio off and picks up her mobile phone. She rings home ?Hello dad, how are you.? ?Yeah, I should be home in three hours. The weather is atrocious so I have to be careful I just thought I?d let you know I?m on the A50 and should be home by 10:30.? ?I love you dad, give my love to mum, bye.? In her own way, anxious Natalie gave her father details of her route without making her father worried. As she put her phone down, the phone slips and lands on the front passenger side and starts making a loud and annoying beeping sound. Still driving, she stretches over to the phone. Momentarily she takes her eye of the road to look for the phone. ?Bang? the tyre bursts as the car hit the kerb. She slams on the brake and stops the car. Natalie, scared of the thought of getting out of the car to fix the tyre, switches off her phone and decides to continue until she finds a garage. After approximately fifteen minutes of slow careful driving Natalie comes across a secluded garage. She stops the car in the garage yard and notices a light coming from a shack in one corner of the yard. Natalie winds down her window and shouts for attention in the direction of the shack. No reply. Natalie puts on her coat and gloves and gets out of the car. The yard is wet and muddy and she notices numerous dark cabins lining the yard. She goes over to the cabin with the light on and knocks on the door. No answer. She bangs harder with the bottom of her fist. Again no answer. She tries the handle. There is a ?click? and the door opens slightly. ?Hello, hello, is anybody there?? No reply. She pushes the door wide open. The door opens with the most painful creaking sound. Natalie steps into the room and the overpowering damp smell forces her to immediately put her hands over her mouth and nose. The inside of the cabin was bigger than it looked from the outside. There was a single dirty lightbulb hanging low from the ceiling. The stale atmosphere seemed to discolour everything in the room. An even dirtier torn carpet covered the dirty, dusty wooden flooring. A large bare window was behind the door. The build up of dirt on the window and the window latch suggested that the windows had not been opened or cleaned for a long time. There was an old chair and table in the far corner of the room. Both of them looked worn and disjointed. A few remains of sandwiches along with some dead insects were left on the table. Leaning on the chair there was walking stick and underneath table there was a large bundle of clothes. On looking around the dirty walls, Natalie noticed a picture on the wall. She went over to the picture when she was suddenly startled by a rustling noise. She looked over to the table. Sensing some movement in the bundle underneath the table and not wanting to believe her eyes, she grabbed the walking stick and carefully reached over to poke the bundle. ?Bang?. Natalie spun around on her heels on hearing the door slam shut. A man with scruffy brown hair, with grey dull eyes, he towered over Natalie with his six-foot bony body. His eyes and cheek were sunken and although he was some distance from away from Natalie, she stepped backwards worriedly. ?Y-y-you are n-n-not s-sup suppose t-t-to b-be here?. ?Sorry I?m just going back to my car ?Natalie replies as she circles around him and out the door. Natalie walks briskly towards her car without looking back. ?W-what did y-y-you w-w-want ??. ?Oh nothing? Natalie said without stopping or looking round. She hurriedly gets in the car and immediately looks the door. Starting the car Natalie decides to continue till the next garage. As she pulls off the attendant starts to bang her car window frantically. Natalie panicks and says ?please leave me alone? and speeds off faster further damaging the burst tyre. ?Th-th- there is s?s-someone in th-the b-b-back s-seat?.

Someone in the Backseat- Creative Writing 7.4 of 10 on the basis of 1649 Review.