That Was Then

That Was Then
?Oh. It?s you. Hi?

?O.k., well, here?s the thing. I was looking at this paper that I had written a long time ago?
?Well, it seems like a long time ago. Anyway, as I was saying, I was reading this paper and I said to myself, I said self, what?s up with this? I mean it was so obvious to me that I had no clue as to what to write about?

?Why is it obvious I had no clue? Well that?s easy. I have no clue as to what I was trying to say and I wrote the thing. I mean I read it over a couple of times and tried to understand it, I just couldn?t. The only thing I could get from the thing is that I most likely wrote it at the last minute and made it up as I went along. It?s like I didn?t put any thought into it at all. I mean come on ? college is like a chair??

?Why is that bad? Because I claimed to be able to sit on my college education if all else fails. What the hell did I mean by that??

?Try to analyze it all you want. The fact remains that it even fell one paragraph short of the perfect theme paper. The only thing I can say is that it sounds like I am tired of writing papers?

?O.k. Maybe I am being a little hard on myself. After all, it was the beginning of the quarter and I had no idea as to what type of writing I could get away with. I mean, for so long now I have had to write to fit the criteria that was expected by a particular teacher/professor. I was limited as to what I could say and how I could say it. Now suddenly I?m supposed to believe that a professor is going to accept my writing in the manor in which I choose to write? Yeah right. I would guess I basically took the safe rout on that paper. I should have gone with a metaphor of Jeopardy. I know I could Have been more creative with that. It?s kind of funny reading the paper again after so much time has passed. It sounds like I was trying to convince myself that I believed what I was writing along with trying to convince a professor. I know I can do so much better?

?So why didn?t I? I have no idea, but it was nice later in the course to change my mode of habit?

?Yes, you heard me right, my mode of habit. You know, that rut almost everyone falls into after being drilled on the ?proper? way to write a paper. I get so bored writing the same way all the time?

?How else would I write a paper? I don?t know for sure. I could maybe use a circus metaphor to describe how the world was created for a science class?

?You think it may be a little too off the wall? Well I think it could be possible. It would take a lot of work though. Actually, I think it could be a lot of fun if I had the time?

?Yes, I agree. Time, or more appropriately the lack of, is the key ingredient at this point. It?s just that I seem to have this creative streak in me that wants to be let out. I have tried painting and found I have the talent to paint walls ? on good days ? one color. I tried drawing and found that, other than the doodles in the margins of note books I really lack something there as well?

?Yes I know those are not the only way to express creativity. Heck, I even tried pottery. Actually, I do make a pretty cool ashtray. Anyway, my point is, I like to write. I like to put my brain to use and come up with different ideas for writing. Like the paper I wrote recently as a conversation with my brain. Instead of just writing a same ol? ? same ol? paper about how simple theme writing can be, I described it as being a virtually brainless activity?

?How? By having my brain in my paper making wisecracks instead of helping to write the paper?

?It does sound off the wall. It was also fun to write. It was something I had never tried before and I think I did a pretty good job of pulling it off. Writing for me, unlike other art forms, allows me to be able to try new things without feeling like I failed somewhere. It?s kind of like how I imagine a painter must feel after finishing what he/she feels is his/her best work ever. It doesn?t matter what anyone else thinks, I know it?s good and the person who disagrees obviously has no taste?

?Of course it sounds conceited. I prefer to see it as pride in my work. After all, if I can?t like my work how can I expect anyone else to? Another thing that I had fun with is writing my first script?

?Yes, a script. It wasn?t Broadway material, or even off off off off off off off Broadway for that matter, but it was a challenge to write and I enjoyed the challenge. It actually turned out pretty good and once again I managed to get my point across without having to write the ?proper? theme paper. Life can be good, on occasion, most times over breaks or on vacation. Speaking of vacations, I am going on Eurospring?

?Eurospring. It?s a program through the university that gives students an opportunity to study in Europe. It should be great fun and good practice for me in relation to future writing. After meeting new people in other countries I should be able to find new voices to write with. It?s great writing in different voices because it?s like becoming a new person?

?Call it some sort of crazy psychology if you will but I prefer to call it expressing myself through more than one point of view. I just hate getting stuck in a rut, using the same style, voice, technique, etc. for everything that I write?

?I can?t write anyway I want right now. Professors expect a certain style like apa or something and take points off a paper if it?s not the style they want. I honestly think professors should allow a little more creativity with papers. I would think it would get boring grading papers that basically said the same thing. Life offers verity, use it?

?I think I like that saying too. It may become my new philosophy?

?Everyone needs at least one philosophy. You should really get one. It helps others to discover what type of person you are?

?Well, let?s see, o.k. for example ? someone who has a philosophy of kill or be killed is most likely someone who is violent and someone I would not likely get along with. Do you see what I am getting at??

?Well, that?s another way I go about writing as well. My writing, most times, shows my current philosophy. For example, the paper I wrote using a conversation with my brain. My philosophy at that time had been ? I wonder who shot a hole in my head and let my brain escape?

?Still don?t get it huh? O.k. take my paper on style for example?

?Take it where? Funny. As I was saying, my philosophy at that time was the old saying, ?life is a stage?? Are you getting it now??

?Good. Perhaps you could help me with my final paper now. My problem is that I have used all my current ideas this quarter and it?s finals week. I don?t have time to come up with something new and my philosophy recently has been ? piss on everything it?s finals week?

?I know it?s a lousy philosophy to have right now but it won?t go away. Any suggestions??

?Well, you?re a lot of help ? not?.

?Fine, leave me then at my hour of need. Nice dramatics or what??

?Well, if you have to go, you have to go. Talk to you later??

?Yeah, I?ll think of something. Bye.
Dear Dr. Morgan,
It seems as though I am having some difficulties getting my final paper written. I am not sure what the problem is except that this quarter has fried my brain. I know it?s an overused college student excuse but it seems to be true. I am not sure how to answer your questions about who I am when I write or why I write the way I do. All I can tell you is that it seems to just happen. I get an idea in my head and the paper just seems to flow from there.

I hope you don?t consider this just another excuse for not getting the paper done but it just doesn?t seem to want to happen. Maybe it?s because I haven?t had any lunch, I don?t know. I do know this though, well, no I don?t know that either. Well, this is turning out to be a lousy apology for not getting my paper done. I did try to get help from a friend, but she didn?t have any ideas. I don?t know what to do except apologize once again and thank you for your open mind approach to writing.

That Was Then 9.4 of 10 on the basis of 2096 Review.