Getting Sober

Getting Sober
To recognize that they have drinking problems, alcoholics have to be completely miserable and willing to change. When they get to this point, it is called their ?bottom.? There are ?high bottom? and ?low bottom? drunks, but it doesn?t matter as long as they get sober. There are many different reasons why an alcoholic decides to get sober, but in my own case, I lost my self-esteem, I couldn?t control my drinking, and my life became unmanageable.
The first thing that made me think about getting sober was that I lost my self-esteem. I always used to cut myself down in front of people and never knew how to accept compliments- sure signs of low self-esteem. The biggest symptom I had of low self-esteem was that I wasn?t comfortable in my own skin or around people unless I was drunk because the only way I could stand myself was when I drank. I also never cared about my appearance, so I wouldn?t wear make-up, fix my hair, or bathe regularly. Still, low self-esteem was something I would never have guessed I had-that is, until I thought about killing myself. Then I knew something might be wrong.

The second thing that made me want to get sober was the realization that I couldn?t control my drinking-it had become a mental and physical obsession. Since my first drink at the age of twelve I couldn?t go a day without a drink, and I could never have just one. By the age of seventeen I was used to drinking a case and a half of beer a day, and for the next two years I lived in a drunken fog. I could not go to school, work, or anywhere else outside my front door without a drink or the promise of one. I finally realized something had to be done when I couldn?t get a drink one day and swallowing my own spit made me violently sick. I was forced to drink NyQuil to keep from throwing up because it was the only alcohol in the house.

But the main reason I got sober was that my life became unmanageable. The first thing that made me notice I was out of control was getting kicked out of high school two weeks before graduation. During and after high school I also totaled three cars while driving drunk. In college things didn?t get any better. I had a boyfriend who robbed houses, as well as me, so cops came to my house looking for him. Finally I realized that something had to change when I started waking up in places and didn?t know where I was or how I had gotten there.

Getting sober is usually the last thing an alcoholic wants to do. Practicing alcoholics always have low self-esteem, can?t control their drinking, and have unmanageable lives, but sobriety always helps remedy these problems. I have been sober for two and a half years, and I could never imagine going back to the way I lived before.

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