Creative Writing: The Millers Tale

Creative Writing: The Millers Tale
This is a true tale of me and my life, or at least for a short while. The
day had started out so well, you see I had become somewhat of a owner of women.
I was interested in this becomes because of the free jobs that came with it. You
see because of my gorgeous looks the women had trouble seeing past it to the
real man in my pants, I mean in me. So why not just become an owner of women to
sell to others for nightly jobs and such and reap the benefits of it all. So
like I said, the day had gone perfectly until one of my women came down with a
sudden case of the backdoor trots.
He, he the ol' hag almost released her load
of dung on one of my customers, so I had to get her and take her back home. When
I got to the man's house I entered in grand fashion by showing how I could open
the door with my head. Oh well, that didn't go over as planned but it scared my
woman so bad she finally did just let it go. Then, after cleaning it up we were
on our way out and back to home sweet home. When we arrived I got some great
news that made the whole squirts issue fall back to the back of my mind. I got
word that the King wanted one of my women to get it on with him. So soon I got
the prettiest woman I had. She had blond hair and a nice set on her, if I do say
so myself. She all of her teeth except for three but in this time that's not
bad. I soon put on my Sunday best and headed straight for the castle in which to
meet the King himself. We came in the back just as told and soon were met by
three guards dressed in black and silver. They said to me, " Wait here, the girl
goes with us." Well, I'll be damned if I'm going to let these people not let me
see the King! When I asked they said, "Sorry but the King won't allow it." Well,
what could I do? Absolutely nothing is right. The King sure is a bum when it
comes to privacy and such. I sat outside the back entrance to the castle for
almost an hour. I was almost to the point of sleep when I heard the door open.
She came out with a bit of a smile on her face. We soon departed from the castle,
she said nothing the whole way home. I kept asking her if something happened in
there that she wanted to tell me. Once, we reached my house she began to laugh.
I was intrigued by this so I said, " What is wrong with you?" She began to tell
about the King's short comings. I soon also began to laugh at this and went to
the bar down the way. I entered the bar in grand fashion as usual. The door was
especially hard for some reason but maybe it was just me. No matter, I began to
drink with my buddy from down the way by the name of Everett. I told him of my
day and then he bought me a beer, then another, than another. I soon began to
wonder why he was being so giving to me, but he was good friend and I thought
nothing of it. The night pushed on and finally, I was so drunk I stole the money
off the man beside me to pay for some of my drinks and then staggered out and to
my house which was a few blocks down the road. The next morning I awoke to the
sound of a rooster and a man laughing wildly outside my door. It was ol' Jethrow
and his pet rooster Cleetis. He greeted me by saying, " Is it true, does the
King have a small one?" I replied with, " What in God's name are you talking
about?" Last night at the bar you told everyone that one of your women said that
the King was a little short of the mark. "You're joking, right?" "'Fraid not,"
he said. Well, at that moment in time I thought I had only two choices. Either I
could leave my business and the house or stay and face the wrath of the King.
Well, the day passed on with more and more questions about the King and his
whatever you would like to call it. I decided I'm a man, a very big man at that
so I decided to stay and face the King. Hours and hours went by and no word from
the King. I thought I was in the clear but as soon as I had thought such a
thought, someone began to knock at the door. I went in a sort of slow pace to
get the door. Then, I opened the door and there stood seven knights and the King.
At once I knocked the first one down with the use of my head, then the next two
with a swift kick to their families' jewels. Three down and four to go. Next, I
jumped upon one and rammed my fist into his face, but soon after this the other
three grabbed me and held me tight to where I couldn't get away. The King stood
before me and looked me over. After a while, he told the knights to release me
and for me to step back inside. The King soon followed and we sat at my table in
the kitchen. He told me of a deal to sort the matter out. He would have a woman
for free anytime he requested or I could have my jewels in a jar. Gladly, I took
the offer and he parted with his knights and all was well. In the end I figured
that the moral was to not to run your mouth unless you're a pimp.

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